Maybe not necessarily "frequently asked" but here are some "fervently anticipated" questions, with their respective answer, for you to read before wasting my time by potentially asking. You may not really learn something new every day, but today might just be your lucky day!
This has little, if anything, to do with Eric Roberts. What the hell?
Of course it does. You just have to read between the lines.
Why Eric Roberts?
Why not? You'd prefer I name my website after his sister?
Does Eric Roberts endorse this site?
I cannot imagine why he would.
What's your favorite scary movie?
Killer Cliches from Outer Space.
Who are you?
Click on the About me section and prepare to be underwhelmed.
Do you have every horror movie ever made?
Of course not. In fact, there are several that I would reeeeally like to find.
How many do you actually have?
A lot. Over 11,111 and increasing pretty much daily. Every 7th day, I rest... That's not true, but I work a lot. Capitalism being what it is, this shit ain't cheap.
Don 't you find that horror movies glorify violence, are misogynist, sophomoric, and contribute
to the fall of civilization while contributing nothing to our national culture and heritage?
Where do you keep all of these movies?
I used to have a hodgepodge of bookcases, drawers, dvd racks, etc. Ultimately I decided to make custom-built shelving. I'm no Bob Vila, but I slapped together some 1x6's, 1x12's, bricks, and angle brackets (and some spacers for those pesky VHS clamshells) to accomplish just that. I'm fortunate enough that I'm able to set aside a couple rooms in one of my houses to be dedicated "movie rooms". In a generic sense, it is segregated by format. DVD along the walls, VHS through the middle, blu-ray, laserdisc, CED, and Betamax each with their own little sections. Kudos to you if you actually know what all of those formats are.
Why did you do it that way?
Mostly because it was relatively quick and efficient. I didn't want to spend the time or incur the expense of making something prettier because they're just shelves; wood organized in such a way to hold items whose value inherently exceeds that of the vessel itself. If you spend all of your money on a fancy wallet and then have no money to put into the wallet, was that a prudent decision? Really though, the walls are plaster and the floor isn't exactly level (a common thing in my area), so I didn't trust that the weight would be supported by the walls. The bricks actually support the shelves and the brackets just give it some more stability.
Do you realize _________ isn't a horror movie?
Probably. It's easier to say that "I collect horror movies" rather than "I collect horror, sci-fi, cult, exploitation, thriller, etc. movies". I'm lazy.
Have you seen every movie in your collection?
No, actually. I try to watch as many as I can, but I don't have time for that. Believe it or not, I'm a real person with a real life. Hell, I probably spend more actual time collecting than watching.
Do you have the rare __________ release of ___________ with the _________?
I don't know, probably not. You know what the limited edition hologram cover blu-ray of Whatever released by an obscure distributor has in common with the VHS tape of Whatever that was in every video store in 1988? Same damn movie.
In a world with Netflix, Amazon, etc., why bother?
I prefer physical formats. In a world with Internet porn, why have sex? In a world with the Gran Turismo games, why drive a car? Bad analogies, maybe, but whatever. Besides, Al Gore created the Internet and he can take it away. Then where will Netflix be?
What do you do with VHS tapes, Betamax tapes, and laserdiscs?
Watch them on their respective players. A video player is a lot like a woman; invest in a good one, keep her in good shape and she'll last years. When she wears out, know where to get a cheap replacement. If you can afford it, keep one or two serviceable units aside just in case.
Are you a fat nerd who lives in his mother's basement?
No. I'm fit, athletic, handsome, well-dressed, intelligent, charming, and my mother wouldn't have me. But yours would.
Are you a weird kid who drives a hearse?
No, I'm an adult and who drives a hearse sometimes but more frequently drives a Porsche, Hummer, Maserati, or Triumph depending on my mood.
Are you some sort of psychopath?
Probably. But which sort? That is indeed a good question... Actually, 'sociopath' might be the better word.
Are you really creepy?
Because I collect horror movies? It's just a hobby. Don't pigeonhole me. Is there anything creepy about a guy who spends most of his time with corpses, collects animal and human skulls, has a pet rattlesnake, and lives in a house full of mannequins? No. You shouldn't stereotype people.
The banner indicates pluralization, as if there is more than one of you. Are you schizophrenic?
We are Legion.
Can you help me organize my collection?
Sure. I'm not exactly splitting atoms here. I have alphanumeric-coded shelves, and each individual shelf is alphabetized. I maintain a spreadsheet (as well as this handy website) that lists each movie, along with its year and national origin, and the shelf it is on. I look for a title on said spreadsheet, go to the appropriate shelf, and using a rudimentary knowledge of the alphabet am able to locate what I'm looking for. I've seen sites where people organize things by director, subgenre, or how the movie makes them feel. Those methods are frivilous, cumbersome and idiotic, respectively. Bottom line, set yourself up that when you absolutely have to see ____________, you know where it is.
What do the letters and numbers mean, for example 03-F-D?
Section 3, Shelf F. The D indicates that it is a DVD. You'll also see some that are -V (VHS in standard box), -A (VHS in library/clamshell), -C (multi-movie DVD packs), -R (blu-ray), -B (betamax), -L (laserdisc), -E (CED/Selectavision), -I (big-box VHS), or -X (tins, oversize cases, etc.). You may also see some that are locations such as \\, //, \/, /\, !?, or !!. Since this whole thing is a never-ending work-in-progress, those are titles that have not been cataloged and put into a permanent location yet. Each of those indicators has its own esoteric definition.
Last week ___________ was at location __, now it is on __-__-__. Do you move stuff around?
Just to piss you off.
How can I contact you?
More importantly, why would you want to? Seriously, step back and evaluate your life for a minute. What is to be gained? Little, if anything. Will your interactions with me enhance your life in any way? Very unlikely. But, if you still want to reach out and touch me, I suppose that you can email me if so inclined. There's maybe a 50/50 chance that I'll reply. I don't do the Tweeter or the Facebook or anything of that sort, so that's out. I suppose if you can figure out where I live and that you can show up at my house. That would be awkward, and I may not even be home. Plus I'm not especially friendly. I won't invite you in for lemonade, for example. I probably don't even have any lemonade. You cannot take a tour of my movie room. I have a lot of rattlesnakes and cobras and stuff. They're not friendly. The whole place is booby-trapped. It's dangerous. Seriously, it's a wonder I've survived myself. Stick to email.
How often do you update?
When I feel like it. Usually once every week or two.
Can I get a copy of...?
You mean from me? Maybe. I won't sell you anything. Well, not movies. But I may be willing to trade copy-for-copy if you have something I want. Or even something that isn't on that list and I don't have. That's how we did it in the old tape-trading days. Or I might be willing to barter for other stuff. What the hell, just email me. Worst I'll do is ignore you.
How do you have a copy of _________?
My stuff is sourced from all over the place. Not everything is an officially released factory-original. In short, none of your business.
Why do you have a copy of _________?
Why not? Quantity over quality, basically. Besides, there is intrinsic value in every movie, except for Unfriended. That has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Why don't you have __________?
Haven't gotten to it yet.
I spotted a typo, or; you have the wrong year/country for ___________. Are you some kind of moron?
In short, yes. This whole spiel is hand-written. I try to be careful, but there may be the odd error or three. I rely a lot on IMDB for specifics, and that is largely a user-driven site so it may not be 100% consistent. For instance if I look up a title that says it's from Canada/USA I'll list it as being Canadian because my formatting eschews multinationalism. But some snarky bastard might come along who edits it out of in a vindictive slight toward Canada in order to gain some moral retribution for the loss of the Atlanta Thrashers. Anyway, feel free to email me and point it out. I'll research it at my leisure and make any appropriate corrections at the next update.
Do you have any idea how much _________ is worth?
Nope. What's more, I don't care. Always buying, never selling.
Why not write reviews or have some other type of content?
I don't have time for that. Besides, does anybody give a damn what I think? IMDB is a good resource if you're looking for reviews. Or Google. Maybe they still have them in newspapers? Siskel and Ebert are dead, I think, but that weird guy with the goofy moustache might still be alive. Gene Shalit, not Rollie Fingers. He's really old though. He may be dead by the time you read this. Maybe look up Leonard Maltin? Or just watch a movie and form your own independent thoughts about it.
Why don't you make a YouTube video?
Maybe I will eventually, but I pretty much think that's frivolous. Besides, I'm kind of shy. There's not much that can be conveyed by video rather beyond what is shown in the few still photos I've posted here. Also, the people who make those videos seem insufferable.
Do you have a lot of horror collectibles too?
Not really. Those that I do have were normally received as gifts. I don't mind them, I just collect other stuff.
Why do you have a website?
Something to do. I don't do social media, and I actually know HTML. Really though, there isn't a good spreadsheet app for iPhone. Or if there is, I haven't found it. Google Sheets always crashes on me. Too often I'd find myself at a store with a DVD in hand wondering "do I have this?" with no reliable way to know. So I made a website that I can pull up on my little phone and look. Besides, nobody makes personal websites anymore, and nobody collects physical-format movies. I'm nobody.